Today is my birthday, and while I am one year older, apparently I am not one year wiser.
Behold:
That would be Micah, enjoying a late brunch of ketchup. What that picture fails to show is the absolute disaster he managed to inflict on my house as he had his little snack. It started out innocently enough, with Micah pulling out the costco sized bottle of ketchup from the fridge as I was putting breakfast away. Since I wanted to check my email, and the bottle would ensure at least 5 minutes of peaceful bliss, I figured I would just let him play with it. I mean, he's not even 11 months old, so it's doubtful he would even know HOW to open the bottle. HAAAAAAA.
Fast forward 5 minutes later. I popped my head out of the office to check on him and was greeted to what looked like a gory murder scene. Red hand prints covered every cabinet door, red splattered my walls and fridge, and there in the midst of it all was my little monkey delicately licking ketchup off of each finger. I would like to say that I immediately ran and dumped him in the tub, but that would be a big fat lie. First, I ran and got the camera and spent the next 10 minutes taking shot after shot of the mess. Then, I sat and laughed at him when he tried to crawl to me, only to slip and slide all over the place because my floor was now a pool of sticky ketchup.
Once I was done having a good laugh at his expense, off to the bath he went. I was super impatient to email the pictures to Todd, so I wrapped him in a towel and figured we would be okay with just that for just a couple minutes while I uploaded the pictures. Apparently, I have not learn from the previous 125,300 times that I have done this, that a naked baby is a very dangerous weapon. Not two minutes in the office and I was hit with a horrific smell and I knew without even turning around what had happened. I looked over my shoulder, and there was Micah Monkey, standing by his toy box, brown from HEAD TO TOE. Behind him there were brown smears across the wall, and what looked to be the biggest skid marks ever across the carpet. The DOG was even covered in it. So, off to the tub again we went! After that second bath, I made sure to cover that butt up with a diaper and went to clean up the office. Once the office was clean and no longer smelling like a port-a-potty, I decided to finish shooting off the pictures to Todd. I plopped Micah down with some non-poopy toys and finished up my email. Since I have no common sense, I did not shut the office door, and off Micah went, back into the murder scene-esque kitchen that I had not cleaned up yet, since I was so intent on emailing the pictures instead.
So, to date, we have had 3 baths already today, and it is not even 12pm. My kitchen is still not cleaned up, because of course I had to blog about it first. I think we can check this day off as a mommyFAIL for sure.
